Memory - Lois McMaster Bujold

So I've heard this idea here and there that some books enter your life just when you need them: I totally buy it. At least, I do now. First I talked about Serena, where I really envy the main character's ability to give-no-fucks and get what she wants (although, admittedly, I draw the line at murder). Now I identify heavily with Miles in this, the umpteenth book of Bujold's Vorkosigan series (seriously, I have no idea what number we're at). To explain this, I really have to get right into the meat of the plot.

In books previous to this incarnation, Miles was killed, cryogenically frozen, and reanimated, and still he suffers from some residual side effects of the resurrection process. He finds himself having seizures more and more often, and we open on a rescue mission going catastrophically wrong when Miles seizes while holding a plasma arc and accidentally amputates the legs of the very man he's supposed to be saving. He hadn't told the Dendarii, hoping to keep it secret, and though that cat's out of the bag he still hopes to keep it secret from Illyan and avoid a medical discharge from the Barrayaran military. So he lies on his report. Illyan, naturally, finds out, and does the only thing he can do: he fires Miles for falsifying reports.

Miles' life is completely falling apart, and we spend this book with him figuring out how, exactly, to deal with that, and the guilt of knowing he completely deserved for it to happen.

"Worse. I did that myself. I did it all to myself." - Miles

Why do I find this so personal? Well, I'm about doing the same thing to myself. I currently have a terrible boss at work, and the constant stress is really encouraging me to self-sabotage. For several months now I've felt like I'm watching my career circle the drain--and there's this sense of hopelessness, that I see reflected in Miles. How to go forward?

But, it naturally being a Bujold-written world, nothing can ever be uncomplicated. Illyan starts showing signs of rapid mental decline, and it's attributed to the memory chip in his brain failing. Miles believes that the failure is deliberate sabotage, but the acting head of ImpSec, Haroche, seems to be deliberately stepping in his way. Through a series of pushes where Miles explores his identity as Admiral Naismith vs Miles Vorkosigan, he ends up appointed as an Imperial Auditor, and swiftly unravels the sabotage, restoring balance to the Imperium. He earns his redemption, both internally and externally, as he figures out what it means to be Miles Vorkosigan again, and steps into the permanent role of Auditor, finding a new path forward in his life.

Again, I feel life imitating art: I received a great job offer recently that's also allowing me to continue my life forward on a different path. It's not the way I planned to go forward, but like Miles, I'm finding the opportunity in it.

I don't really have much more to add to this. Bujold is ever wonderful, Miles is ever engaging, Grover Gardner is ever a delight to listen to. I've mentioned previously how I intersperse my more difficult reads (whether because they actually require a higher reading skill or are just more boring) with fun reads, and Vorkosigan is like the equivalent of curling up with a blanket, hot tea and a warm fireplace. It's comforting, no matter how many times I go back to it.

"You have no mass and cannot move me. I'm tired, and I want my supper." - Miles

Overall: 4.5 stars

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Memory on Goodreads (Average 4.42 stars)